Jesus is My…

First, let me start by saying it’s been two years and nine months since I last published my thoughts here on my website.

Life moved fast for me March 2021 and onward. A lot of life happened – training for and completing my third half marathon, navigating the pandemic, running my second relay race, experiencing two career promotions, learning how to live more embodied. And there’s been a lot of deep loss and difficulty too.

I did write though during those years. I just didn’t put those words here. But I have them and when the time is good, I’ll share them. And while I was writing I was also creating in other ways, like this painting I did back in August 2023.

Another thing happened too, this year.

Y’all, I got locked out of my own blog! That will definitely halt the process of publishing for anybody. I finally got back in earlier this month. It feels good to be here and share the things I’ve been writing and reflecting on.

Like these words below.

I meditated on God’s Word this morning and spent time with a familiar passage, Isaiah 9:6.

Context means a lot to me so I like to see the broader narrative that verses come from in the Bible.

My meditation starts in verse 1 and goes to verse 7.

I picked The Message translation for the ease of reading.

But there’ll be no darkness for those who were in trouble. Earlier he did bring the lands of Zebulun and Naphtali into disrepute, but the time is coming when he’ll make that whole area glorious—the road along the Sea, the country past the Jordan, international Galilee.

2-7 The people who walked in darkness

    have seen a great light.

For those who lived in a land of deep shadows—

    light! sunbursts of light!

You repopulated the nation,

    you expanded its joy.

Oh, they’re so glad in your presence!

    Festival joy!

The joy of a great celebration,

    sharing rich gifts and warm greetings.

The abuse of oppressors and cruelty of tyrants—

    all their whips and clubs and curses—

Is gone, done away with, a deliverance

    as surprising and sudden as Gideon’s old victory over Midian.

The boots of all those invading troops,

    along with their shirts soaked with innocent blood,

Will be piled in a heap and burned,

    a fire that will burn for days!

For a child has been born—for us!

    the gift of a son—for us!

He’ll take over

    the running of the world.

His names will be: Amazing Counselor,

    Strong God,

Eternal Father,

    Prince of Wholeness.

His ruling authority will grow,

    and there’ll be no limits to the wholeness he brings.

He’ll rule from the historic David throne

    over that promised kingdom.

He’ll put that kingdom on a firm footing

    and keep it going

With fair dealing and right living,

    beginning now and lasting always.

The zeal of God-of-the-Angel-Armies

    will do all this.

So much goodness here.

What stands out to me this morning are these things:

Jesus was born for us.

He was predestined to come to the earth and rescue us.

Jesus is a gift to me and for me.

He will take over the running of the world.

We need the Lord. 

He is an Amazing Counselor (Extraordinary Strategist is what the NET says).

He is my Strong God (Mighty God is what the KJV says).

He is the Eternal Father (Everlasting Father is what the KJV says).

He is the Prince of Wholeness (Peace is what the KJV says).

His rule and authority will grow.

There will be no limits to the wholeness he brings.

He will rule over a promised kingdom.

A kingdom he will place on a firm footing. 

A kingdom he will keep going (His kingdom is his own, not mine. I get the honor and invitation of being a family member and heir of his kingdom, I have a spiritual inheritance in the Lord that Ephesians 1 tells me is mine).

Jesus will rule with fairness and right living, beginning now and lasting always.

The zeal of God-of-the-Angel-Armies (the Lord of Hosts is what the KJV says) will execute this reign.

There are a set of words I often hear when listening to Dr. Christina Edmondson pray at the close of different readings of the Bible from Truth’s Table’s Get In The Word audio Bible:

“God’s promises are always ‘Yes’ and ‘Amen.'”

Yes.

Amen.

He is saying these two declarations to me each day and inviting me to lean in closer, to listen and to hear.

Reading and sitting with God’s Word, I see it first for the people it was written for thousands of years ago, and then I ask the Lord for eyes to see and ears to hear what is he saying to me today with those same words. This is what I see and hear:

Jesus was promised to me and generations to come through foreshadowing. Just as he was promised to God’s people that Isaiah wrote directly to thousands of years ago. 

Jesus is a gift to me. So much is hidden in and wrapped up in the gift of his birth – salvation, redemption, restoration, rescue from sin and brokenness, kingdom living, healing, and much, much more.

Jesus is my…

Amazing Counselor, Extraordinary Strategist. What do I need to bring before him and receive his counseling, strategy for?

He is my Strong God, Mighty God. Where do I need to experience his strength in my life?

He is my Eternal Father, Everlasting in his parenting of me. Where do I need to feel him as father, parent, guide in my life?

He is the Prince of Wholeness. His peace makes me whole. Where do I need to be made whole in Jesus?

Selah. I’m thinking about this.

The gems of the Word of God are so rich and ready to be mined and sourced out.

God’s invitation to seek him and there you will find him when you seek him with all your heart are so true.

My heart says yes to the process.

Yes and Amen. 

The Incomparable Ms. Cicely Tyson

December 19, 1924 – January 28, 2021.

You were given 96 years on this earth. You lived them all with such great intention, grace, dignity, beauty, and power. I want to learn from you. So that I can live each of my years to come with this kind of intention. One of my earliest memories of you were glimpses of you in Roots, but watching The Autobiography of Miss Jane Pittman as a young Black teen girl is what deeply drew my heart to you. You became 110-year-old ex-enslaved Jane Pittman right before my eyes. You took and honored her story and you gave it to the rest of us, so we would know her. You brought people to life. The gift and function of story captured my heart very early in life and seeing that movie, seeing you act and tell and show one woman’s story so powerfully, sometimes with just the simple gesture of a movement on your face to inflect an emotion or what you didn’t say or do, to hold to the integrity of telling and showing a scene you were in, you did this with excellence. At the core of who we all are as humans, our stories are the connecting bond between us. Our humanity moves between us, through our stories. And you told stories, you gave them life time and time and time and time again, on the big screen, on the little screen, and on stage plays around the world. You are a forever example of #BlackQueenMagic for brown-skinned girls and women to glean from as we show up as our complete and full selves in this world, at the tables we’re invited to and the ones we build for ourselves. Thank you for holding and fighting for our honor, our dignity in the spaces you stepped into. Thank you for what you gave to us. Rest in peace and in the Lord’s great power. You are beloved.

featured photo courtesy of The Emmys.

Keep Building Resilience Introverts

Sending love to all the introverts who are building resilience in these pandemic times in the midst of heightened Zoom calls and other ways of working and living now that have become our norm.

Yesterday, I had six video meetings for work, including one that was a 2.5 hour class on African American theology, and would have had a seventh meeting if I hadn’t moved it to next week. My introverted self was pushed but I also built ‘muscle’ from those moments. And I found ways to help myself recover energy between meetings and during meetings, like turning my video camera off when needed, so I didn’t have to ‘be on’ visually, which gave me time to rest. I also closed my eyes during breaks and covered them with the palms of my hands to help my eyes rest and my mind rest with a darker environment.

Also sending a special holla to the Enneagram type 5 personalities like me, those “Inquisitive Thinkers” who have the least amount of energy available to offer to others out of all the other personalities.

I know what it takes to show up, manage your energy and make sure you got enough in the tank to finish out each day in front of you. Keep leaning into these times to grow and build more resilience and strength.

I was amazed yesterday at how God continued to sustain me…and in other moments, even though it seems I’m almost out of juice in my caboose. I read one Christian reflection about the type 5 personality and that when one is struggling or fearful because you’re at the end of your energy reserves and you have no more to give, to ask Jesus Christ, the One with unlimited resources to help you. He is faithful to give to you out of His abundant and unlimited supply and can pour back into you all that you need.

Selah on that.

Photo by Raquel Santana on Unsplash.

Featured Photo by Danielle MacInnes on Unsplash.

Thriving In The Midst of The Pandemic

I’m walking in my neighborhood more and taking in the sights, sounds, and humidity I feel. I enjoy my walks between 6:45 am and 8 am. During that time of the day, the air isn’t too hot yet with the rising warmth of these Orlando summers. I like these walks. They call me to a place of being more present with my body, my thoughts, and my prayers. I listen to podcasts and playlists on Spotify. I walk and chuckle, I walk and reflect.

I’m cultivating a lot of life in my garden, which is part of a community garden. When the COVID-19 pandemic hit in March, there was concern that gardeners would not be allowed back on property due to very stringent rules to keep coronavirus at bay. After some good convos and working things out like observing social distancing rules and bringing disinfectant to clean tools and other items we’ve touched while in the garden, we were given access to the garden.

In a time where much of what we all were used to doing and having as regular rhythms in our lives has been taken away or limited due to the pandemic, gardening for me is a very sweet constant. It’s something that pours life back into me as I pour life into my plants.

I have a front porch garden that I partly use to grow plants bigger and then transplant them into my two plots at the larger community garden. I also grow things that are easier to care for at home than in the garden. I have parsley, basil, mint, two watermelon plants that I’m getting hefty, five sunflower plants, and a Santa Fe grande pepper plant on my front porch.

I’ve beamed seeing little seeds I put into the soil, like sunflowers and watermelons, grow in my front porch garden into little baby plants that now are grown-up plants, healthy, strong, and vibrant. Y’all…I’ve even planted a papaya seed and it germinated and it became a papaya tree seedling! I AM GROWING A TREE Y’ALL!!!

In the community garden, I have three watermelon plants, a lemongrass plant, two tomato plants, a jalapeno plant, a cucumber plant, rosemary, and three sunflower plants growing. A lot of life is happening in these spaces. Seeing these plants grow steadily over the last two months shows me that life is happening even in the midst of a lot of uncertainty and loss due to COVID-19.

My garden is a comfort to my heart and a blessing to my soul.

Road To Celebration: Half Marathon Hilarity & Lessons Learned

The Celebration Half Marathon in Celebration, Florida was on my mind back in 2016. I determined to be ready for the January 2017 race but in July I sprained a ligament in my left knee after a kickboxing workout.

Ligament sprains are challenging injuries because they take so LONG to heal. And I ended up re-injuring my sprain again in October. Celebration Half 2017 was not gonna happen for me.

But the desire to run my first half marathon never faded away. It just continued to move with me as I moved into more of my life. Running January 2018 could have worked…if 2017 hadn’t been so crazy full. I had no time to train as my life pulled me in many directions, from resurfaced health challenges to a fuller professional life and personal life.

The mental and emotional space I needed to prepare just didn’t exist.

Getting Ready
Lenora, one of my Black Girls Run! sisters and me September 22, 2018. My six-week fitness challenge began on September 17.

But fall 2018 yielded what I needed, starting with a six-week fitness challenge at my kickboxing gym. That process propelled me into losing nearly 15 pounds, 1.3 percent body fat and pushed me closer towards my first weight loss goal of 25 pounds.

A core belief of mine is that the less I weigh, the better running will be on my body, especially my knees and feet. Letting go of fat that I don’t need so that I could run faster became a motivator to get rid of it.

At the close of the fitness challenge October 29 I knew that if I wanted to be 2019 Celebration Half ready, I’d need to start training that week, using a 13-week plan from Track Shack.

I entered the journey and decided to start with walking and move to interval miles, where I’d run for 30 seconds and speed walk for 30 seconds.

I put in the miles each week, along with the cross training of kickboxing and rest days, and slowly my 5 feet 10-inch frame began to build greater endurance for what would become the biggest fitness adventure of my life.

January 1, 2019, BGR New Years Day Run. Weight loss and toning show my progress.

Months after the six-week challenged ended, I continued the nutrition plan of focusing my diet around macronutrient meals to continue my weight loss. I eat lean protein, veggies, and healthy carbs for breakfast and lunch, protein shakes for snacks, and lean protein, veggies, and healthy fat for dinner.

I heard a fitness expert say, “You can’t out train a bad diet.”

Those words are so true. Exercise will get you some places. But nutrition will keep you there.

Two weeks before the 2019 Celebration Half, I did my longest set of interval training miles – 22 miles total for the week – with 12 miles done on a Saturday run. That run changed my life because it showed me how far I’d come in my journey.

I averaged a 13-minute mile almost half of those miles. I’d never done that before. From the end of mile three to the end of mile seven, I ran faster not even feeling it, moving from a 14:21 average pace per mile down to a 13:55 average pace per mile. I kept looking at my pace like, “what IS happening here!”

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January 12, 2019, my longest training run.

My body was telling me it was ready for Celebration. Race day finally arrived on Sunday, January 27, 2019, at 7 am. And with it, much hilarity ensued and some great lessons learned:

Half Marathon Hilarity

  • I accidentally washed my wireless earbuds in the washing machine days before the race. The buds were in a zipper pocket in a running jacket from an earlier training run. I forgot I left them there. But I had a backup pair of wired earbuds that got me through the race.
  • The weather for this race felt like it came straight from the pits of hell! Straight up. It was about 54 degrees but felt more like something in the almost high 40s. Rain fell the entire time. Winds blew consistently. Of all the days for this kind of weather, did it have to come during my first half marathon?
  • I felt like I got initiated into legit running with this race. With what I had to endure because of the weather I’m grateful I persevered.
  • My conversations with God as I ran:  My attempt at begging: “Lord, could you just make the rain wait until this afternoon?” As the wind blew my poncho almost over my head: “Really God! C’mon!” As the rain hit my face horizontally: “This is NOT okay!”
  • I taped my running shoes with duct tape. It 50% worked for a few miles. One of my Orlando Black Girls Run! sisters encouraged me to duct tape my shoes before the race, to help keep the rain out. I also looked at some pictures from another runner’s blog about rain racing. I felt so proud of my taping skills. Until the top flap of tape plopped off my right sneaker after mile three. I should have followed the full instructions from my BGR sister and taped the whole way around my shoes. My bougie self wanted to be cute. Wet feet for 10+miles made me learn my lesson. IMG-20190127-WA0031-1
  • My conversations with myself. As I neared the starting line: “I’m actually one of those crazy running people now.  Who runs in the rain.” As rain and wind pummeled me: “I am crazy for doing this. I must be crazy. THIS is crazy!” As my quads, hamstrings, knees, and calves started tightening because of the cold: “Mel, you got this. Keep pushing through.”
  • The nine-minute bathroom break that felt like the rapture. After mile two, I saw a bathroom spot that wasn’t a porta potty and headed for it. Putting my RunKeeper app on pause, I waited in line and realized just how soaked by the rain I was. My poncho was not holding up well. After fighting with a tissue roll that wouldn’t start and trying to decide do I hold onto my rain-sogged gloves or put ’em in the trash, I finally exited only to discover the crowd of racers that had been running/walking outside before was all gone. Minus one lone walker. It felt like the rapture had happened. I knew I had to get moving fast! And by mile four, my intervals runs caught me up with more racers.
  • My introvert loved the quiet moments of racing. If there’s one thing I loved about Celebration 2019, it’s that fewer racers were on the road because of the nasty weather. Which meant more space to have distance between oneself and other people! Man, that was so good. This race was quieter, even peaceful at times like the miles over the boardwalks, through palm covered forests and little marshes.

Half Marathon Lessons Learned

  • Hand warmers in gloves are no match for rainy conditions. The warmers were great in the car. But soon sputtered out from their heat effectiveness as the rain soaked everything clinging to my body. IMG-20190127-WA0030-1
  • Duct tape 100% of your sneakers all the way around twice. The tape is strong, but the consistent drip-drip of rain will eventually affect its fortitude if you don’t tape your shoes well.
  • I should have clipped my toenails like I said I was gonna do the night before the race. I ended up not clipping because I was lazy. But the added length of nails that should have been clipped added to my soggy, slightly stressed feet during those miles. A tiny bit of something can agitate you the whole way.
  • Poncho RunningWhen racing while raining, wear the heavy $4.99 poncho instead of the 99 cents one. In my mind, I thought I would move faster with the 99 cents poncho. In reality, that cousin of the plastic trash bag slowed me down more. I got soaked and spent more time fighting with it.
  • Or just wear a light-weight, hooded, waterproof rain jacket. A jacket like this would have kept more of me dry yesterday. Some runners can run in the rain, but running drier is a motivator for me.
  • Stretch more in cooler weather. I moved my legs around a bit at the starting line and did some good stretching the night before the race. But I didn’t factor in how the cold, wet weather would make my muscles clench up. And man, did they clench up by mile four. I had trained in cold and even windy weather, but not cold, rainy, windy weather. It felt like my body was doing double-duty  – to keep me warm and face those miles all at the same time.
  • Make sure you have a waterproof runner’s belt. My belt for longer miles with two water bottles attached is amazing. But in the rain, it fell short. I assumed it was waterproof when I bought it. But during the race realized it was not. Luckily I packed a ziplock bag for my phone and that kept it dry.
  • Have a backup to capture your running stats. Runkeeper hit a crazy glitch as I entered mile 11. And dropped all my stats, except for the miles I’d put in and the calories burned. More on that below in the “L” Award section. If you really wanna track your movement, could be good to have two apps recording your splits, pace, and time.

Mel’s MVP Awards…If I Could Give Some Out

  • My legs and feet are the true champions. They endured over four months of training, physical endurance, and pain and showed up for me well during my race. I wish it wasn’t so cold and my body didn’t have to fight off the elements AND focus on energy and performance for those miles at the same time. But my body got me through because it was ready. Honorable mention goes to my core, arms and my lungs! I crossed the finish line at 3 hours 55 minutes but I’m deducting nine minutes for my bathroom break, so my finish time is more like 3 hours 46 minutes. I wanted to finish at 3 hours and 15 minutes, but I did well, in light of the weather.Goal Accomplished
  • My close friend and sistergirl Jessica. Jess decided to train with me back in fall 2018, to encourage me towards my goal of doing my first half marathon. She did many early morning runs/walks on cold days and some longer runs too. She also drove me to my race and drove me home. I couldn’t have done Celebration without her.
  • My night before race dinner and pre-race meal. My chicken burrito from Chipotle with the needed carbs of rice, two beans, that tortilla, and the protein, veggies, and fat set me up well for Sunday. I don’t get to eat burritos like I used to but when I can, I use the carbs well for exercise prep. My pre-race meal was half a ruby red grapefruit and a serving of raw almonds. The small meal kept my energy high just before my first GU gel.
  • GU gels are amazing. Energy gels don’t work for everyone. But I tested GU gels out in my training and they work amazing for me. Chocolate Outrage is my fav. It tastes just like chocolate fudge. I need four gels to power through 13.1 miles, taking a gel every 40 minutes after my workout begins. These gels kept my energy up and boosted me at the right times.
  • The cheering squad along the race route. The half and full marathons take place throughout neighborhoods in Celebration. Many residents cheer on racers from their front porches and yards. Some even set up little stands with water and energy snacks for extra encouragement. These people are just awesome. I found that in the moments I needed that extra push of encouragement, I’d turn a corner and see a smiling face, hear a “You got this, you’re doing so well” and it would keep me going.
  • The half and full marathon racers. There were several racers who saw me towards the end of the race, and as they ran past they encouraged me with “Good job…Fight for it…You’re doing great.” That blessed me. A lot.
  • The race volunteers. They were out there in that cold, wet, nasty weather right along with us. Cheering for us at water stops and encouraging us too. I am thankful for them.

And The “L” Award Goes To…

  • Runkeeper for failing me miserably at mile 11. I entered mile 11 with a good average pace of 15:57 and over three hours into the race, considering my feet were soaking wet, I was drenched and my legs were tight. Then my Runkeeper app lost its mind. It started saying I was averaging a three-minute mile, which was impossible AND that I was minutes into my activity, which also was wrong. Maybe the GPS reading hit a glitch? My splits and average pace were gone from the record. Disappeared completely. Two things the app did continue tracking were my miles and my calories burned.  Hours later, the splits came back in the app but not the average pace for the entire run.

I ran and finished my first half marathon. I did it! I’m beyond proud of me. It’s not just that my body had to commit to this process. My MIND had to. I believe if your mind commits to it, you can do ANYTHING.

So Proud

One of the sweet gems from the race yesterday that hit my heart with truth is seeing different pieces of clothing discarded by runners throughout the course. Runners often will lay gloves, shirts, and even jackets on the ground they no longer want, as their bodies heat up in the race. Holding onto things you don’t need can slow you down.

The practice of laying things down speaks powerfully to many things in life.

If you don’t need it, lay it down.

If it slows your progress, lay it down.

If it’s not functional for you to have it anymore, lay it down.

I’ve laid down a lot on my road to Celebration: A loss of 23 pounds. Four percent of my body fat. Unhealthy rhythms with food due to stress, life, and adulting.

As I ran to get to this goal, I picked up some of my own gems too: A stronger, leaner self. Fueling my body with wisdom. Saying ‘yes’ to healthy intentions.

Cheers to a memorable first half marathon experience. I survived!

And the momentum continues for my next one. I have my eyes on the Orlando OUC Half Marathon this December 2019, Lord willing and the creek don’t rise.