Randomness: Cougars vs. Pumas

If women over 40 are considered cougars for dating men who are younger, I think men who are over 40, and definitely those 50 and 60 year old ones who date women who are like 18 years old, them dudes ought to be called pumas.

*Clarification: My friend Rob says men who are over 40 who date 18 year old girls are actually called perverts.

Well there you have it. Happy Monday good people!

Floss The Teeth You Want To Keep

You schedule a dentist appointment. Then the days wind down to that either dreadful or anticipated day, depending on how you view dental visits. I like to put in extra effort on my teeth the morning I head to the dentist. As if my extra brushing and flossing is going to take away all the dark chocolate I ate months prior.

What hilarity.

When I was younger, a dental hygienist told me, “floss the teeth you want to keep” and showed me how to properly floss my teeth and go under my gums. Her words stuck with me. They make me think about the intention that’s needed to keep healthy things in our lives moving at a constant pace.

What if I applied the same set of words to my writing, running, and relationships?

Write the words you want to keep.

Run the miles you want to keep.

Invest in the relationships you need to keep.

FlossI think the “need” in relationships challenges me. It’s easy for me to be intentional about the relationships I want. The ones I need are a little different. I don’t always see my need for them, likely because I don’t want them. Especially if the work it takes to do them is hard. And relationships are just hard sometimes.

Relationships are these glorious personal mirrors God uses to show me who I am. Sometimes I love these mirrors. What I see blesses me in the life and connection I experience with people who want to know me.

Other times I don’t want to look at the mirrors. They show my disappointments in people. They show me “me.” I don’t want to look at the hard and the difficult when relationships don’t work out. When they stall out. Even when they die.

But the mirrors are good and they are necessary. I need to see myself, what I bring to situations that’s good and what I bring that ain’t so good. And I need to be willing to let go of stuff that won’t help me invest well in the relationships I want and the relationships I need to keep.

How do you need to “floss” in your life this week?

Finding Me Truth #8: You Need A Pillow

Sometimes the best thing may seem like the least productive thing.

Humans tend to think if we’re not doing something, changing something, being a catalyst for something, then we are not productive, not useful and are ineffective.

A friend told me he heard someone say, “The most spiritual thing people can do sometimes is take a nap. Resting shows your trust in God and not in what you can do.”

I think those words are stellar.

People need pillows. People need rest. People need naps. 

Rest brings recharge for the body. Your mind gets some peace while your body renews itself and cells get regenerated and such. Sleep and rest are a good thing for finite human beings in rechargeable body vehicles. I’m sorry, I just think it’s funny to say “rechargeable body vehicles.”

Anyhoos, rest yourself today. God neither sleeps nor slumbers. Well, he kinda doesn’t need to…he is God. But he does model rest for us. After he made the world in six days, he took the seventh day off and rested. He rested. If he does it, then I for sure know that I need to do it and I haven’t even made a planet or an animal like a kangaroo like he has.

5K and Ludivine

Runner = Melody. An equation I never saw coming.

After childhood, I ran only if somebody was chasing me. Running on purpose and because I liked it was not me.

But something happened in 2014. I intersected with Black Girls Run!, a national movement of women who meet weekly in different cities for exercise and community.

I discovered new sisters who trained with me, ran races alongside me, and cheered my every step and mile. There were women who’d lost nearly 100 lbs because they started walking and running with Black Girls Run! (BGR).

My first meetup in August was encouraging. I learned more about BGR Orlando as I walked through Jay Blanchard Park with my friend Jessica (who encouraged me to join) and ladies in the Eastside group. A week later, I joined the Eastside sisters for a run with BGR Melbourne. I did a three-mile walk and jog with new friend Beverly. It was the first time I’d ever done that kind of mileage.

But work and priorities soon hit keeping me busy and tired. For a year, I fell off the BGR wagon. September 2015 arrived and I decided, “Mel it’s time to get connected again.” I discovered a BGR meetup five minutes from my house, and life has never be the same.

From September to December 2015, I completed two virtual 5Ks, ran 83 miles, and walked 29. My speed improved as I moved into a 14 minute mile and sprinted 13 and 12 minute miles for short periods.

Hot ChocolateMelody became a runner. Melody is a runner. What the what!

January 24, 2016, in my hometown of Atlanta, I completed my first live race, the Hot Chocolate 5K/15K. It was 30 degrees and the course was hilly, but I beat my previous 5K time. I had one 12 to 13 minute mile, and  two miles under 30 minutes. I also finished under 45 minutes, a new personal record for me.

This also was a huge milestone in life, PERIOD. Running changed me. It’s helped me see my determination and how much strength my soul contains. You have to be determined and strong, and maybe a little bit crazy to run outside ON PURPOSE in 30 degree weather.

#mlcwritesday25

A few days after the race, I read a hilarious article about a dog named Ludivine who accidentally ran a half marathon and came in seventh place. Ludivine inspired me to make plans for my first half marathon this year. I told Jessica and the following text conversation ensued:

Mel: “That dog ran a whole 13 miles and came in 7th place. That’s freaking amazing.”

Jess: “He’s a dog though. They love running.”

Mel: “You should be excited that I am inspired.”

Jess: “Teresa encouraged you, I encouraged you. But nope, the dog inspired you.”

Mel: “For 13 miles (that dog ran). And by the way he is a she.”

Jess: “I’m glad you’re inspired though. All dogs look alike to me. Until she puts a pink bow in her hair she will be a he.”

Mel: “Her name is Ludivine. She’s southern. From Alabama.”

Jess: “Looooooooooool I’m done.”

Jessica can throw shade on Ludivine all she wants, but I’m proud of her! And I’m excited to see where my 5K, 10K and half marathon adventures take me this year. I’m confident with my BGR sisters we’re gonna stomp plenty of pavement.

Lying is Easy, Truth is Not

Writing is an opportunity for me to tell the truth.

Oftentimes it’s my truth I’m telling.

Sometimes I don’t realize this until I’m 200 words in deep.

Many times it’s God’s truth I’m inspired to tell, in repackaged ways but always authentically.

Lying is easy. Tell me who you want me to believe you are or what you imagine stuff to be.

Truth is not. Show me who you really are and be willing to stand in that with honesty wrapped around your waist.

Truth. It’s what we need. It’s custom built to set us free.

So, everytime I write I say to myself, “It’s time to tell the truth. What do I need to tell the truth about today?”

What regularly occurs in your life that causes you to ask the same self-reflecting question? What’s your answer?

Originally written February 22, 2016.

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