“Grief – what do you know about this experience? We use the word so easily. It’s the state we’re in when we’ve lost a loved one. It’s an inward look. You’ve been called into the house of mourning. It’s not a comfortable place. It’s not where you want to reside, but for a time, longer than you wish, you will. Often it will hurt, confuse, upset, and frighten you. It’s described as intense emotional suffering or even acute sorrow.
In grief the bottom falls out of your world; the solid footing you had yesterday is gone. It feels more like a floorboard tilting or soft pliable mud with each step you take. The stability of yesterday’s emotions has given way to feelings that are so raw and fragile you think you are losing your mind. We feel alone with it, yet we’re not for Jesus himself was there, “a man of sorrows, acquainted with bitterest grief” (Isa. 53:3).
Mourning is the second part of the experience. This is the process where grief is expressed. It’s a natural, God-given process of recovery. It’s his gift to us to help us get through the pain. Everyone has grief, but mourning is a choice.” – Experiencing Grief, Chapter 1, pages 3-4.
If you are grieving the loss of a loved one or grieving because of traumatic experience please know you’re not alone. Many people have walked this road and understand where you are.
I pray you will allow your grief to have its movement in your life because this will allow your healing to come in healthy ways. You can choose to ignore grief, silence it, lessen it. But it will find its way of release, powerful waves of grief crashing upon your heart often when you least expect it – a sound that sets off a memory, a movie that reminds you of the one who’s passed, an unintentional remark that floods your heart with a million emotions.
Let grief have its perfect work in you. Grieving is a gift from God. A dear friend once told me, “We grieve deeply because we’ve loved deeply.” I completely agree.
Let mourning also have its perfect work through you. Mourning is how you can express your grief – through tears, anger, questions, silence, and acceptance. Mourning allows you to embrace actions that help you work through your grief. The primary way I’ve mourned is through my writings. I continue to mourn but I also learned how to live these new chapters of my life with love before me.
Grieving and mourning show me what I’ve lost.
Living and loving show me there’s so much more waiting for me in chapters God continues to write for my life.
I pray you will grow from your loss and see the hope on the edges of your story.