A Little Bit of Lena

Today I’m wearing a little bit of my grandmother with me.

I like to wear a green necklace that belonged to her. A few days ago I cleaned out a small cloth purse and put the contents on my bed, which included jewelry from my grandmother.

Days after her death my family began the incredibly difficult task of going through her belongings and preparing for her funeral. I started opening her dresser drawers, and looking for things, what I didn’t know exactly, but I wanted to find something that was hers, something to make her feel and be closer to me even though she was so very far away.

I found priceless photos of me, my cousins, our mothers and our family. Photos from when we grandchildren were toddlers, little kids and teenagers. Pictures she kept and placed in safe places, pictures of her “Brount” (Brian), her “Mella” (me) and her “Jacob” (Jason). We were her babies, her heart, her promise of better years, deeper dreams and greater chances, these grandchildren of hers who would become something just simply AMAZING.

This green necklace belonged to her. To my Lena. I’ve worn it three times since she passed away. Once at Thanksgiving right after her death, once some months later and today. Wearing it makes me feel closer to her. And of course, I just love the color green.

A dear friend told me once that you can tell when the pain of losing a loved one to death doesn’t have the same grip of loss on you. It happens when you can look at their picture now and smile instead of crying. I feel that way about this green necklace. Remembering Lena still.