Tag: church

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MLK Reflections

Note: I wrote these words January 21, 2019, for a special event at my job January 24, 2019, that honored the life of Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. During the event, I spoke these words to 450+ colleagues, sharing ways that I see our organization reflect Dr. King’s dream for change today. 

As I walked down a short flight of steps in The National Center for Civil and Human Rights, the lights around me shifted from a crisp fluorescent to a subtle, light glow. It looked like I’d accidentally entered the back end of an exhibit.

Music and voices bellowed softly in the room, full of blown up images from Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s life – and his final days.

I stood for a moment.

Martin Luther King Jr.

I wanted to take in what I was hearing and also seeing as I watched others process this experience.

It felt like a very sacred space. These were moments in time that stayed constant in their motion to honor a very special individual.

A man who gave much for the cause of Freedom, Oneness, and Diversity.

Dr. King was 39 years old when he left this earth. His life and legacy speak of the intention that he moved from. Considering his age and all that he accomplished through those 39 years makes me consider my own life.

I’m 39 years old and the more I live, the more I understand how critical it is to live with INTENTION.

Dr. King lived his life this way. Even when it was uncomfortable. Even when it challenged him deeply. And especially when it meant fighting for necessary change over lukewarm complacency.

You see, our choices make us who we are.

And we need those choices coupled with our intention because inward decisions lead to outward actions that have the power to change the world.

Dr. King changed the world because of his decisions and we’re here today to honor his incredible life and legacy.

MVIMG_20190124_105333.jpgAs I reflect on Cru and how this ministry continues to grow as a community passionate about connecting people to Jesus Christ, I see the power of intention at work in several places. One specific one is through The Lenses Institute.

Lenses is an initiative of Cru that exists to help the people of God fight for Oneness by influencing the way Christian leaders see, understand, and act in our ethnically and culturally diverse world. 

We hold several institutes around the nation in cities that include Los Angeles, Orlando, New York City, Phoenix, Lexington, Atlanta, and Raleigh.

As a facilitator and cultural consultant with Lenses, I’m honored to witness many in our ministry be changed by this experience.

Thousands have stepped into this five-day intensive that helps people understand cultural awareness and cultural identity. This happens as they examine their own individual journeys and also enter into the experiences of others from different ethnicities.

Awareness and identity in the area of culture powerfully shape who we are as believers in the Church and beyond the church’s four walls.

In those five days through Lenses, I get to witness people in our ministry willingly step into deep waters that include uncomfortable places and even difficult emotions, as conversations around race, power, and the gospel emerge.

These are people like you. People like me. People who lean into this opportunity to grow personally as they discover more of God’s heart for His kingdom.

People who begin to see God’s hand at work in the weaving together of their stories and the gift of their ethnicities to display the gospel brightly in this world.

People who are willing to enter conversations that help them understand the experiences, pains, and joys of their brothers and their sisters.

These conversations develop empathy, which gives birth to compassion that deepens emotional intelligence and relational trust – two gems that can help the road toward Oneness be paved just a little bit more smoothly.

In John 17 verses 17 through 21, Jesus prayed for Oneness for His disciples and for those who would later come to faith as a result of the gospel being spread. He prayed for us:

“Sanctify them in the truth; your word is truth. As you sent me into the world, so I have sent them into the world.

And for their sake I consecrate myself, that they also may be sanctified in truth.

I do not ask for these only, but also for those who will believe in me through their word, that they may all be one, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me.”

In Oneness as the Body of Christ, we can demonstrate to the world that God the Father sent His only Son.

The unity of the Household of Faith displayed through men and women, from different ethnicities, cultures, generations, economic backgrounds and more has the power to change this world by showing the world such Oneness – in itself – is from God.

And He loves the world so much that He sent Jesus to the world to save it.

Dr. King understood the power of Oneness. It pushed him forward to walk with God in faith and invest his life with intention so that the lives of others would be changed.

Through The Lenses Institute, I see how our ministry reflects Dr. King’s dream for a better world.

A world where people could be respected as the image bearers God created them to be. A world full of promise and brimming with possibilities.

Last night, I read Dr. King’s “Letter from Birmingham Jail” and this quote by him grabbed a hold of me and wouldn’t let go:

“Let us all hope that the dark clouds of racial prejudice will soon pass away and the deep fog of misunderstanding will be lifted from our fear-drenched communities, and in some not too distant tomorrow the radiant stars of love and brotherhood will shine over our great nation with all their scintillating beauty.” – Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

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My Shepherd Said Goodbye (Pt. 3)

How do you grieve and mourn the losses that don’t seem very tangible? I think I wrestled with this question following the resignation of my former pastor. I knew there was a loss, I knew it was significant but I didn’t know what was the reasonable response to the loss.

Like many in my church family upon hearing the news of the resignation and why he left, my initial response was shock, hurt, pain and questions. Tears flowed quickly during the service where members of our church’s elders team and leadership team explained the situation and their heartfelt pain for our church family.

But they also communicated God’s hand was still upon Discovery Church and that he would help us heal as we walked this journey together. The journey for me included feelings about what had happened and questions that stung:

What do you do when those you respect and love stumble into moral failure?

How does a church move forward in finding a new shepherd?

How do I process my feelings about God in the midst of this?

Grace

As I look back on the spring of 2013 and the months that followed I see the hardship, fears and grief that many in the Discovery family walked through. I also see the faith, healing and grace that blossomed as we allowed ourselves to grieve and mourn that which was lost.

When you allow yourself to grieve you create space to connect to what has hurt you, damaged you, even changed you. When you allow yourself to mourn you give your soul permission to express your grief, you sob through it, you ache because of it, you allow the emotions in you to come out of you. You mourn, you acknowledge, and you vulnerably embrace the pain and loss. When this occurs authentic healing can take place.

The two significant emotions I experienced in the loss of my former shepherd were shock and feeling deceived. I felt shock because this was something I never imagined I could experience in the community I was part of. Not that we were immune. But the news completely blindsided me and the shock was impactful. I also felt deceived. My mind wrestled with the two lives my former shepherd lived – the pastor part of him and the hidden part of him. My heart felt anger and sadness at his actions. These feelings needed to come so that I could grieve them, feel them and acknowledge how I hurt.

Through this loss I learned that God is faithful to us even when we as people are unable to be. Discovery Church would always be his church and his immense love for his people would never change.

There’s a quote by author Sally Lloyd-Jones that reminds me of the great love God has for the people in this world: “…all the stars and the mountains and oceans and galaxies and everything were nothing compared to how much God loved his children. He would move heaven and earth to be near them. Always. Whatever happened, whatever it cost him, he would always love them…with a Never Stopping, Never Giving Up, Unbreaking, Always and Forever Love.”

Through this loss I’ve learned that the church is not perfect but in her weaknesses the propensity for God’s strength to be made perfect is priceless. There is no perfection in church as there is no perfection in the world around us. Human brokenness thrives on this planet. None of us are immune to it.

What I see in the church is a gathering of people with their own fractured stories, drawn together because of love for an incredible God and a desire to grow in spiritual community that will change them for the better.

I’m in authentic community right now with a small group of women at Discovery. We’re in our late 20s, 30s and beyond. We love God and we love growing together. We talk about life, we get real, we laugh, and we love to have taco salad fiestas, get froyo together, and hold backwards party socials. We talk about deep things rooted in our hearts, hardships that are stretching us and we trust the Lord together for better days to come.

Smallgroupgiving

These women are helping me heal. They are helping me become more human in my losses and my triumphs. They’ve grieved and mourned with me and now they’re showing me how to live again in the life and joy we share in authentic community.

Do you have community in your life?

Are you known and understood by others who care about you as a person?

If you do how is your community changing your life? If you don’t how can you pursue community in your life? 

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My Shepherd Said Goodbye (Pt. 2)

Our pastor, our shepherd had left us. He’d said goodbye and we didn’t know what all of this would mean for us and the future of our church.

His unexpected departure came as a result of moral failure in his life. The combination of these two words bring utter devastation and unimaginable consequences.

As humans, we want to be good. We want to make the right decisions. We want to be moral. But we’re limited and we’re broken in our humanity. There will be times when we make choices out of our limitations and because of that brokenness, these choices will fail us and those we deeply love, influence and care about.

Pastors are shepherds at heart. By definition, their role moves them at their core to guard, guide and tend to the spiritual well-being and development of the people around them. They’re hard wired to speak the truth in love. They constantly invite us to consider the unlimited grace and healing God offers to surrendered hearts.

But who will shepherd the shepherds? Who do they go to when they need protection from darkness and evil? Who do they open up to in vulnerability when their hearts are heavy and their competency can no longer surpass the deficits in their character?

Outward behavior often connects to inward struggles. These struggles tap into deeper parts of our stories where well-hidden pain, inadequacies, secrets and even traumas continue to reside as backdrops to our adult selves.

These struggles are real and they are significant.

Sometimes our shepherds, our leaders, our influencers will fall and fail. We are not immune from falling and failing too.

But grace says they, along with us, in our own stories of brokenness and failure do not have to stay in failure. Grace pulls us up and provides arms of strength we can lean into as we walk the road of recovery toward healing.

Grace never condemns.

Grace never gives up on us.

Grace always gets down into the muck and nasty mire of our lives and offers open hands toward freedom and forgiveness.

My former shepherd knows grace very well. He says that he’s been marked by grace and he’s telling his story so that others can know that grace is freely available to them too:

[vimeo 87745090 w=500 h=281]

This post is part two of three where I will share more of my experiences through this loss and what I’ve learned about God, his church and his people.

What does grace mean to you? Do you find it’s easy to give grace to others when they fail? Is it harder to give grace to yourself when you fail?

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My Shepherd Said Goodbye (Pt. 1)

Eight years is a long time to be somewhere. Those years represent your life, your time and the changes you’ve been through. Eight are the years I spent in a community of people who came from different cultures, life experiences and even heartaches. People who merged together weekly to learn more about God and share our journeys of faith. People who helped me grow and discover the young woman I was becoming.

This community is my church home in Orlando. I landed on the doorsteps of Discovery Church in February 2005 after moving to central Florida for a new position with my job. I grew up in a black southern Baptist experience and my connection to church goes back to my childhood beginnings: memories of Sunday School lessons with the late Mrs. Maxine Tucker, singing in the children’s choir at First Baptist off Gresham Road, being dressed to the nines for Easter Sunday and feeling the humidity of those hot Georgia summers during Vacation Bible School. I know a little something about the church. 

Being connected to a community of people who desire relationship with God has always been a part of how I experience the world. Moving to Orlando meant that along with all the other new things I needed to do – find a doctor, change my car tag, get a new license – I wanted to find a church to call home and start new relationships.

I didn’t want to church shop. I wanted to go to a place that felt welcoming and God’s truth was being shared and would know “this is where I should be.” On my first visit to Discovery, I knew “this is where I should be.” The sermon messages constantly spoke right to my soul and truth was being preached. I was all of 26 years old and started building relationships and developing community in a church that wasn’t quite mega in its size but wasn’t mini either.

I joined a diverse group of 25 college and post-college folks who were in our early to mid-20s. The church offered several groups like this one, designed around similar seasons of life and interests of people to help them grow spiritually. Our group learned about community as we unpacked the truths of the Bible and understood more of God’s plans for our lives. My group leaders were Peter and Lynn and we all had one heck of a time together.

Desiring to learn more about nutrition and good body weight management, I also connected with a small group of women, led by the incredible encourager Deb and built more relationships in my church. Fall of 2005 brought with it the unexpected death of my father James that devastated me to my core.

Pastor Berry, our church’s care pastor, joined me in my loss, providing resources to help me put words to this shocking grief and understanding how to mourn. Several months later I became a part of the church’s first-ever Grief Share group, which met over 10 weeks and walked through messages that helped us process and heal from the deaths of those we deeply loved.

Months would merge into years at Discovery that included more connections in deep ways through more small groups and Bible studies I joined:  a “9 to 5” group for professional young women navigating the twists and turns of life as we pursued God and a creative group for photographers, writers and filmmakers who set out to document stories of hope, justice and faith locally in Orlando.

I regularly attended Status, our 20-something weekly gathering for young people at Discovery. Status was full of real good music, real good people and real good messages that challenged me to grow and commit more of myself to the faith I believed in. Status was also a place where I worked through a cute crush on a cute guy. The experience helped me learn more about myself, relationships and the value of being in community with others.

More years zoomed by and I committed more of myself to Discovery, a gathering of people in a simple building who illustrated the family of God to me and his heart for his church. It’s not just a church, it’s my church and it’s part of my identity and it’s place that’s safe and invites me to learn and serve. I began serving with the hospitality team, offering my warm smiles and soft hellos as a church greeter for a couple of years. I then followed a passion to encourage others and joined the prayer team for a season. I provided a listening ear to those who needed someone to talk to after our Sunday services and pray for them.

My heart soon led me to invest in Discovery’s children’s ministry and I became a teacher for the orange and green room aka the 5 and 6 year-olds. What an adventure those years were! Kids are just hilarious. Investing in their lives and seeing them respond constantly to God’s love with their beautiful faith overwhelmed me. They reminded me that goodness still thrives in this very fallen and broken world.

While serving the kids I also connected with a new group of women at the church and started attending a new small group for 20 and 30-something women. We were a little group at first and over time more women have come into our gathering and it’s been exhilarating and full of many hot mess moments, i.e. intentionally holding backwards socials where we wear clothes backwards and eat dessert before dinner, enjoying our version of “The Hunger Games” and karaoke adventures that will go down in history.

I became a co-leader of the group and have deeply enjoyed building into the lives of other women. We do life together, share our challenges and put our hope in Jesus for better days to come.

Eight years in this community known as Discovery Church was rich and meaningful.

Eight years of growing, losing and living through the cups of pain and cups of joy that comes with being alive.

Eight years of feeling that you belong to something and you’re part of something bigger than yourself.

And then one day, everything changed.

In May 2013, on a typical Sunday like so many others, I sat in the auditorium ready for Pastor David’s message. After the welcome and music, two members of our church’s leadership team entered the stage and began to share words I never anticipated hearing.

They said something had taken place involving our pastor and he would not be at church today. At first I thought he had been hurt in an accident and was injured. But then they shared that he had given his immediate resignation that week following the disclosure of an immoral relationship outside of his marriage.

It didn’t feel real hearing those words. I felt stunned. Speechless. I was in shock. Many seated around me echoed my feelings, as people began to cry and weep and express the tremendous loss that the news brought. It felt like someone had died.

Many tears. Incredible disappointment. Great pain. Discovery is a family. And on the heels of this news, we were hurting very much and very deeply.

Our pastor, our shepherd had left us. He’d said goodbye and we didn’t know what all of this would mean for us and the future of our church.

This post is part one of three where I will share more of my experiences through this loss and what I’ve learned about God, his church and his people.

I’m curious: have you experienced the pain of seeing a leader in your life, like a pastor, mentor or someone you look up to, fall from their position of influence? How did that experience make you feel?

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