The questions of pain: They come. There are many. The places they can take us run wildly like an out of control roller coaster while digging deeper than the roots of a 100-year old tree.
If faith enters the conversation, pain now has someone to direct our feelings toward. For me the someone is God and my conversation moves into two worlds:
World #1: Do I say he’s a mean God because for whatever reason he permits though does not inflict upon us suffering and violence along with brokenness and traumas that seem to make our hearts break, our souls ache and cause our minds to shatter?
World #2: Or do I say he’s a gracious Father and a loving Creator who in the midst of all this hell breaking loose also permits and gladly offers us the celebrations, the gift to live and the choice to love, to hold close those we embrace and let go those we’ve lost but will never forget?
What questions do you ask in the midst of pain?
I always wonder if I will feel strength or weakness on the other side of my pain. Will survival of one more blow from life leave me feeling like superwoman and like I can make it through anything? Or will it make me feel drained, meantally, physically and spiritually exhausted from fighting my way through the pain? Or will I just become numb and a bit closer to being completely desensitized to pain because of its constant presence?
Natisha, I’ve wondered those same questions too. And I believe all three are realities. My desire is to feel stronger from the pain I experience in life. But weakness provides a lesson of growing through it as well. Thank you for your words and your vulnerability. Really appreciate you journeying with me in this blog.