We are inclined to search for things that we lose. I feel I’ve lost parts of me – maybe even all of me – in the waves of unique losses and deep pain that etched themselves into the fabric of my soul during 2013.
Deadened emotions and numb feelings place their victory flags in the fertile ground of the heart. Fragile flesh and bone try their best to cope with the shock of intense things: deaths of loved ones, physical traumas, sickness and illness, damaged relationships, wrestling in theology and wondering is God really good.
Unspoken questions linger like musty cigar smoke, pungent in the soul, sticking to you:
Why is life so hard?
Did that really have to happen?
To me?
Where is God in all of this hell?
Real questions. True questions. Human questions. A non-stop march of change continues upon the calendars we make for lives, calendars that really should be written out in pencil and not pen. Something is always erasing what we thought would be what we wanted with those we chose to do them with.
The presence of pain continues to ebb and flow in and out of our lives.
Philip Yancey says that pain is a gift from God. In his book “Where Is God When It Hurts?” he writes: The pain network (in the body) deserves far more than token acknowledgement. It bears the mark of creative genius.”
I agree with him. Pain tells me that something is wrong, something is not right and I need to be fully aware in this moment about this pain. Pain can come physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually and relationally. The pain alerts me to pay attention to ME. It whispers in my body as it stings its gift of awareness, “Melody you are hurt. You are bleeding. You are broken. You are burned. You are wounded. Listen to me. Listen to ME.”
Writers need new spaces for their words.
One way that I embrace this awareness of my pain is by writing. I’m creating a new space for my words in this world through this new blog, Finding Melodie. In this place I will explore and converse with you on themes that include losing, grieving, mourning, loving and living.
I’ll unpack these themes via weekly blog posts. As I pull out my feelings in these experiences I pray for authenticity and vulnerability with you, my readers.
I am on a journey that’s years in the making. A new chapter is being written for me and about me. The gift of my words changing me will be beautiful to witness. The gift of them changing you will be a sweet honor that I welcome with anticipation. Buckle up for the ride. Let’s get ready to find some melodies and hopefully, a bit more of ourselves.
<3
Love you Bon. Thank you for joining my journey through this site.
It has happen. Congrats! Looking forward to being blessed by your wisdom.
Yes ma’am, it has! Thank you sister.
Beautiful post, Mel!
Anjelica, thanks love!
Mel. Wow! First blog done. And very well too. Love the great word pictures showing your current heart melodies! Looking forward to finding some melodies here with you. Thank you – and blessings – as you go for it.
Dave! Thank you for the encouragement of your words and support. I look forward to you finding some melodies for your life via this blog too.
Love getting to see you be so honest! Your writing is beautiful.
Bri!!! More honesty is to come…thank you for the love and your words.
Thank you for sharing. Looking forward to hearing more. And may the journey through the pain of the past produce a Melody that resonates with souls and speaks to hearts about a song of the ages.
I’m grateful for your words Curtis. I’m looking forward to seeing my journey resonate with so many others as well.
Way to step out there, girl. I know you have a great capacity to give. May you know the Author of your story as you continue to write.
Julie, thank you for your words. I look forward to knowing more of the Author of my story in this journey as well.
Wonderful! Your heart has been laid out like a smorgasbord of beauty and pain and questions. Well done, my sweet friend. Your words are a salve to the soul.
Dayle, you inspire me so very much. You gave the challenge way back in September for me to create a place online for my words to grow and go in ways I’ve never experienced through the discipline of consistent blogging. I’m doing this and you’re a significant part of my ‘process that’s in process.’ Thank you so very much for the courage you pour into me.
It’s a sweet melody. 🙂
Martha, thank you for your words girl! Check back weekly, more melodies to come.
Beautiful… simple, honest, real, challenging and surrendered. As I am learning (I am on this pain journey with you!), His ways are not like ours, they are better. It’s up to us to believe HIm and allow Him to show us the “better”. Glad you are doing this…. thanks for sharing. Hugs to you! –Anika N.
Hey Neals! Thank you for the love and these encouraging words. Anika love you sister.
Love this Mel!
Sweet Lauren thank you for the love! Help me share more of these words with those you love and know. Would be encouraged if you could share this site via your social media profiles. Love you sweet one.